You might have been wondering how Marines can re-integrate to civilian life. A friend just sent me this handy guide (which I have edited somewhat to make it more family-friendly).
- ADMIT you have a problem. Say “I am a Marine, I have a problem.”
- SPEECH
- Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred. It is not 0530 or
1400; it is 5:30 in the morning (AKA awful early) - Words like deck, rack, and “PT” will get you weird looks; floor, bed, work
out will work better– get used to it - “F—” cannot be used to replace whatever word you can’t think of right
now. Try “um” instead. - Grunting is not talking
- It’s a phone, not a radio. Conversations on a phone do not end in “out”
- People will not know what you are talking about if you tell them you are
coming from Camp Lejeune with the MWSS platoon or that you spent a
deployment in the OCAC - STYLE
- Do not put creases in your jeans
- Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts
- A hat indoors does not make you a bad person, it makes you like the rest
of the world - You do not have to wear a belt all the time
- WOMEN
- Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6
month marriages, even if it is your first - Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make
“financial sense”, it makes you ‘SPECIAL” - PERSONAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS
- In the real world, being able to do pushups will not make you good at your
job - How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.
- ALCOHOL
- In the real world, being drunk before 5pm will get you an intervention,
not a “good for you” - That time you drank a 5th of Jaeger and accidentally relieved yourself in
your closet is not a conversation starter - That time you went to the combat medic school and practiced giving vodka
IV’s will also not be a good conversation starter - SPENDING HABITS
- One day, you will have to pay bills
- Buying a $30,000 car on a $16,000 a year salary is a really bad idea
- Spending money on video games instead of on diapers makes you a fool
- One day you will need health insurance
- INTERACTING WITH CIVILIANS (AKA YOU):
- Making fun of your neighbor to his face for being fat will not be normal
- REAL JOBS
- They really can fire you
- On the flip side you really can quit
- Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal. Remember,
they really can quit too - Taking naps at work will not be acceptable
- Remember 9-5, not 0530 to 1800
- THE LAW
- Non-judicial punishment does not exist and will not save you from prison
- Your workplace, unlike your command, can’t save you and probably won’t. In
fact, most likely you will be fired about 5 minutes after they find out
you’ve been arrested. - Even McDonalds does background checks
- Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested, not
yelled at Monday morning before they ask you if you won - GENERAL KNOWLEDGE
- You can in fact really say what you think about the President in public
- Pain is not weakness leaving the body, it’s just pain
- They won’t wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important then
you are, so be polite - Read the contracts before you sign them. Remember what happened the first time
There are only 11 steps!