Paul's Down-Home Page

Last year, it was German spy underwear. This year, it’s “hostile undergarments for smiling professionals“. Either that or Pokemon. (Actually, I’m kind of thinking of an “evil engineer” T-shirt for John, although technically it’s not a hostile undergarment).

I present technical sessions at conventions fairly often– two or three times a year. Most of the time, these are public events, like TechEd or ExchangeConnections. This week, I’ve been presenting a four-day security course to an audience of about 150 Microsoft employees (well, really about 140 MS folks and ten or so people from partners like Unisys and HP). Presenting at an internal conference (MS calls them “airlifts” because the attendees are flown in from all over the place) is quite a bit different from my typical presentation.
First, of course, the audience is quite different. This group is split pretty much evenly between technical account managers (for some of whom, regrettably, the “technical” is silent) and support engineers who work in MS’ Premier organization. These people are, on average, very intelligent; more to the point, MS-only audiences have very little tolerance for indecision on the part of the instructor. If they ask a question, and you don’t know the answer, you’d better be prepared to say so and not try to spin out something plausible, or it’s curtains. Of course, they usually know their own products pretty well, so their expectations for the technical level of the presentations and labs is high.
The atmosphere is very different, too. In this case, the attendees’ job performance is judged in large part on how satisfied their customers are with MS products and services (one TAM told me that CSAT, as it’s called, makes up 25% of his annual performance rating). That means that everyone here is focused on learning stuff, not on gallivanting around Seattle and seeing the sites (of course, it’s been rainy and cold every day that I’ve been here, so maybe that helps). Class starts at 8am and goes until 5 or 6pm each day, and this class started on Friday and continued, through the weekend, for seven days. Everyone’s working hard. Even though everyone has a laptop or Tablet PC, I’ve been pleased to see tha tduring lab time, almost everyone is working on the labs and not checking their email, playing pinball, or otherwise goofing off.
The venue is very different, too. At a typical public event, it’s held at a convention center or hotel. Ours is being held at the Bell Harbor Conference Center. Sounds pretty swank, right? Actually, one of the BHCC’s functions is as an embarkation port for cruise ships. Our classroom is a big concrete area that is normally used as the baggage claim area. Lots of exposed pipes and wiring, several “CUSTOMS: THIS WAY” signs overhead, and sporadic (and noisy) heating. Atypically, the food has been excellent, which makes for a nice change.
Speaking of food: on Tuesday, John drove down and we ate at the hotel restaurant, the loftily named Fish Club by Todd English. I had salmon baked in phyllo with rosemary cream sauce, along with something billed on the menu as “authentic Louisiana seafood gumbo”. Both were good, although Arlene could have given the gumbo makers a few tips (hint: lay off the red pepper so people can taste the other ingredients). The Seattle paper’s food critic didn’t think too highly of it, but I thought it was pretty good (then again, I never met a piece of salmon I didn’t like).
So, after four days of being on my feet and talking for 8-10 hours each day, it will be a welcome relief to return home and have only four people, instead of 150, talking to me at the same time 🙂 One big hit: I was able to watch a couple episodes of 24 on the laptop, which was a great for a little pre-bedtime relaxation. Thank you, Mr. Tivo.

No, not that Word of Wisdom.

It is not true that everything tastes better when it sits on a Ritz. Skittles taste awful that way.
— Kim Cameron-Webb

So, this diagram shows how the process of moving your telephone number between cellular providers is going to work. I bet it can be simplified thusly:

1. You contact the new cellphone company
2. You tell them you want your number moved
3. They contact your old company
4. The old company ignores your request
5. You ask the new company about it
6. They blame the old company
7. You contact the old company to investigate
8. They blame the new company

What could be simpler? (Hat tip: Dennis)