Paul's Down-Home Page

For some reason, yellow jackets are very common in this area. I don’t like them.

Anders Jacobsen has a great series of articles on optimizing Movable Type. My favorite: how to get more hits on your blog. He left out one strategy, though: put lots of pictures of scantily-clad women on your site.

So, the UNMOVIC inspectors went to one of Saddam’s palaces yesterday. This would seem to be a good thing, if you assume that the reason behind the inspections is to inventory Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction. Of course, if you’re one of the folks who thinks that UNMOVIC is just a front for the US to drop the hammer on Iraq, perhaps you’re not convinced. Here’s my modest proposal.

1. Gather up all the UNMOVIC inspectors in a secure location. In fact, why not add a few more, for good measure?
2. Find a suitable military unit (I happen to have one in mind). Two battallions with organic air assets should do the trick.
3. Send a demarche to the Iraqi foreign minister, c/o the UN. The letter should read as follows:
   

   Dear Mr. Sabri:
   UNMOVIC inspectors will shortly be visiting a variety of facilities around your country. They will be accompanied by heavily armed Marines. Any attempt to obstruct their progress will be dealt with severely. We regret any temporary inconvenience this may cause. Have a nice day.
   Sincerely,
   -The UN Security Council (except France)

4. Begin the inspections: load up the inspection team in a Super Sh*tter, add some Cobras and Harriers, and fly them directly to whatever they want to inspect.

When I say “directly”, that’s what I mean. Want to see the warhead plant at Al Qa Qaa? Set a waypoint for the parking lot, fast-rope in a company of Marines, and let them secure the facility for inspection. This does not (at least to me) seem greatly more intrusive, or violative of Iraq’s sovereignty, than the current plan, but it would seem to eliminate the opportunity for Iraq to screw around with the inspectors (e.g. by blocking them in traffic) or the inspection process (e.g. by quickly hiding stuff while stalling UNMOVIC at the gate.)

The famous Jeremy Zawodny has family in Toledo. That means there are at least two bloggers here (at least when he’s in town).
Update: another Toledoan has come out of the woodwork. In fact, he is proudly sounding his barbaric yawp (not to be confused with The Barbaric Yawp, which is actually pretty good) all over my comment pages. Welcome, Dan!

Wow. Talk about a lot to be thankful for. It’s snowing. That’s good. I spent an hour shoveling the driveway (not so good), but I didn’t drop dead (good) and I got both vehicles backed into the garage for easy egress tomorrow (also good). Now I’m sitting in front of the fire (very good), doing actual paying work (very, very good) on my new laptop (gooder still). Arlene is defrosting some red beans (more goodness), and since it’s Monday night, we get to have Family Home Evening after dinner (best of all). Ahhh, life is good.

Having a hard time shopping for that special someone? Don’t know what to buy? How about some German spy underwear? The German equivalent of the CIA is about to start selling merchandise, including underwear labeled “TOP SECRET” and “Not for public use”. No word on whether they’re be bulletproof.