Category Archives: Musings

My friend Todd is one of the nicest guys you could ever hope to meet. He has a disarming aw-shucks manner (born of living in Alabama for most of his life), a quick mind (despite the fact that he attended Auburn), and a terrific sense of humor, as evidenced by this gem (original source unknown):

Question: You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two
small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is
inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think?
What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and
knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this
situation? Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he
definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I
were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with
some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Texan’s Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click… (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)
Wife: “Sweetheart, he looks like he’s still moving, what do you kids
think?”
Son: “Mom’s right Dad, I saw it too…”
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Daughter: “Nice grouping Daddy!”

After my strong letter to OfficeMax, I wasn’t really expecting a response. I was upstairs stealing some of Arlene’s candy getting a snack and I noticed that the fax machine was humming. It was a letter from OfficeMax’s CEO, apologizing and promising that I’d hear from their director of customer service. What a deal! (I’ll post it when I have more time, which will probably be in 2009 sometime.)

Dear Pa & Ma,
Am well, Hope you are to. Tell brother Walt and brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt & Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, they git warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings. Like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc…, but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food. But tell Walt & Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again.
It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.. We go on “route” marches with the Platoon Sergeant who says they’re long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore
feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.
The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the
school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around & frown. They don’t bother you none.
This next will kill Walt & Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don’t move. And it ain’t shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Be sure to tell Walt & Elmer to hurry & join before other fellers get onto this setup & come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Gail
Original author unknown; I got it from my mom, who got it from a friend, etc.

Here’s my sad OfficeMax story.

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Gedankenexperiment: say I see someone walking down the street in my neighborhood, randomly firing shots into houses and vehicles as he goes. I kill him. Have I committed murder, or have I defended my family? Discuss.
Oh, and I’m afraid the news that 43 American cities have passed anti-war resolutions doesn’t cut a lot of ice with me, especially after reviewing the list of cities. You are no doubt aware that what gets passed by the city council doesn’t necessarily reflect the sentiment of the city’s residents (excepting, of course, places like nuclear-free Berkeley and Ann Arbor.)

The Preacher is right on with this one.

Loved this Washington Post story: Rumsfeld Remarks Upset France, Germany. Apparently Germany and France are angry at being labeled “old Europe”. From the story:

When asked in Washington on Wednesday about growing European opposition to war with Iraq, Rumsfeld replied, “You’re thinking of Europe as Germany and France. I don’t.” He added: “I think that’s old Europe. If you look at the entire NATO Europe today, the center of gravity is shifting to the east. And there are a lot of new members.”

Naturally, the French and Germans are angry. In fact, the French ecology minister almost used a bad word on the radio! Good heavens; we can’t have the ecology minister getting upset. I mean, look at all the power the US EPA wields when it comes to war planning and diplomatic negotiation. Nope, wouldn’t do to have them mad at you.
In fact, I’ll take it a step further: Schröder’s statement that the Iraqis should be disarmed by “peaceful means” (and Chirac’s agreement with it) is just what you’d expect from the two countries who sold Iraq most of the banned stuff they’re not supposed to have– not to mention two of the countries who have the most to gain if economic sanctions against Iraq are lifted.

I already sent a letter to the boys of Co F 2/23, but I don’t want to neglect anyone. Accordingly: Cpl Blondie, Godspeed and Semper Fi.

So, I got this in my mailbox from my alma mater‘s College of Computing, announcing a lecture in their Distinguished Lecture Series:

Starting in 1995, Allan Fisher and Jane Margolis engaged in an interdisciplinary program of research and action in response to this situation. The research effort has been to understand male and female students’ engagement with computer science. The action component’s goal aims to devise changes to encourage the broadest possible participation in the computing enterprise. In part as a result of those efforts, the entering enrollment of women in the undergraduate Computer Science program at Carnegie Mellon rose from 7 percent in 1995 to 42 percent in 2000. Fisher and Margolis report on their experience in their recently released book, Unlocking the Clubhouse: Women in Computing.

A cynical person might ask why this research is interesting or useful. After all, as far as I can tell no one is forcing college-age women to avoid their local computer science departments. (One Amazon reviewer said this book attempts to answer the question “why don’t people spend their lives the way I think they should?”)

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This one goes out to my homies Brandt and Dan.

Any Marine
Company F, 2nd Battalion, 23rd Marines
Box 555425
Camp Pendleton, Calif., 92055-5425
Dear Leatherneck,
I saw the recent article about F 2/23 in the Salt Lake Tribune, and I was inspired to write to you. Even though I don’t know who this letter is going to, it doesn’t matter, because it’s going to a Marine.
I had the privilege to serve in the Marine Corps Reserve from 1986 to 1992 with HMA-773, which became part of MAG-70 during Desert Shield and Desert Storm. I know what you’re going through right now is very difficult: the separation from your family is hard, and the uncertainty about where you might go or what you might do wears on you. I left behind a good civilian job, a new car, and a very worried fiancée to fly out to Pendleton and start gearing up for deployment.
I remember it vividly, and so I sympathize with the mix of emotions you’re probably feeling right now. Excitement at getting to do what Marines do, love and brotherhood as you work side by side with your fellow Marines, anxiety about what the future holds, loneliness as you miss your family and friends back home, and frustration at having to do everything the way the Big Green Machine wants it done.
I can tell you this with authority, though: you are a Marine, and when the time comes, you will know what to do. Whether you’re LDS or not (I was baptized in 1997), I believe that God watches over the men and women who preserve the freedom of this country, just as he did for Moroni when he carried the title of liberty. Ask an LDS buddy to tell you the story if you don’t already know it; it’s in the Book of Mormon in Alma 46. Trust in His protection; work hard to prepare yourself, and never forget the generations of Marines who have gone before you and those who will follow. May God watch over and bless you and your fellow Marines as you do what is right for our nation.
Good luck, and Godspeed.
Semper Fi,
Paul Robichaux
SSgt USMCR