Department of Unreadable Spam

I’m not surprised that this made it through the filter; heaven knows I can’t make head or tail of it:

Deary Easy- Buyer!
My name “Unroll E. Headdress”, and I work at Reasonable-ProgramTools LLC.
You are is very essential for me!
You spend your earnest money and your time at my representation,
and I happy to show you that our organization have finish upgrade of soft assortment.
Our organization like remind U that our company suggesting that this time We have more bigger 1899 toprated
software products for at low value with your personal Client allowance off a price.
Please spare some of your high price Time to our renewed Soft Store here:
With the best wishes,
Clients Service department, “Unroll E. Headdress”